pet peeve of the week/ rant of the day

people who talk about getting older all the time..people who send those ridiculously stupid emails of the "top 30 signs you're getting old.." variety.. people who spend their time talking about mortgages or home repairs..people who are permanently saying "oh i can't do that anymore".. i find it devastatingly boring...if your hobby is going to home depot don't talk to me about it cause i could give a shit...if you feel old feel old all by yourself...don't get me involved... i feel and want to feel young... old is one station closer to the end of the line..

my role models and heroes are people like joaquin sabina.. brilliant artists that started feeling old when they had a heart attack at the age of 53 due to too much cocaine/booze/girls/cigarettes aka action up to that point... he wants to talk about feeling old - about mortality- after that.. no problem..i can handle that.. but if someone is in their early 30s and wants to start talking about.. that seems a bit early for me... you got a lot of living to do at that age.. a lot... read carlos baker's biography on "papa" hemingway if you don't believe me..

now you may be reading this and thinking "geez i talked to that guy about that awesome trip i had to the home depot"... well now you know..sorry... i may have appeared to look interested but wasn't..in fact i was thinking "oh no.. not XXXXX too".. perhaps you're thinking "boy this guy ain't very mature..".. great! you're right! i wasn't mature and i'm still not mature!!!!!! ypee..i celebrate my immaturity to the four winds!

also, if you bought a house for X and now its worth 2X i think its rather gauche to sit around telling everyone about it.. some of the people you are telling this to maybe don't own a house.. so make sure to talk to other lucky homeowners who have also profited marvelously..you may be unaware but others find it increasingly harder to pay the rent..

if you're collecting unemployment but own a house worth over half a million and are talking about buying another house.. well, perhaps i'm not the person to be telling this to... but come to think of it even if i did own a nice home i think its the last thing i'd be talking go my friends about.. maybe, after telling them about my last visit to the proctologist i would mention the home.. talking about increasing real estate prices with someone who doesn't own a house is much like talking about that awesome new song you heard on the radio with a deaf friend of yours..

people who spend their time talking about what they did and that they no longer can do it.. as if age ought to condition what you do... as if we're all the same animals with the same patterns we must follow.. how devastatingly boring..yes, boys and girls its your late teens so go to college and follow the crowd and get wasted every night.. if you're lucky do the same thing in your 20s.. then meet someone and no longer do that or talk to most of the people you spent your 20s with.. yes, thats the pattern allright.. get married: be sure not too early or too late.. then have children...

the worse thing about the people who are permanently yammering about "oh i just can't do that anymore" is that they seem to feel that because they don't do it no one else does or should either! its so intolerant... listen, you don't like to meet friends at bars and hang out til the wee hours.. goody for yOU! BUT don't commit the error of thiking everyone is suddenly feeling old like you.. cause you're not really much older in the grand scheme of things.. all you're doing is behaving older.. so you want to be an old person..great.. good luck to you.. but don't rain on my parade..

if i hear one more person in their early 30s say "i'm too old for that shit" i'm going to pull a freak on them... how ridiculous for people to talk that way when people nowadays can be safely expected to at least make it to 80... when keith richards is still rocking it out in his mid 60s!!!!!!!! and here we have someone who is 32 going "poo pooh i'm too old to have a drinkie winkie!" or "i'm too old to go expand my mind with a headbanging rocking show"...my only limitations in what i can do are the amount of greenbacks in my wallet not my age!!!!!!!!

you do what you do cause you enjoy it and once you don't enjoy it don't do it but don't blame an artificial societal construct socialized into you for what one should be doing during each year of their life.. physical limitations can justify having to adjust some things in your life as you age but not throwing out the baby with the bathwater says grinch.. and don't make me feel like i have to act like an old man to help you justify to yourself the person you've become